From the moment I found out you were growing inside me, I loved you with all that I am. With every squirm and kick, I fell more deeply in love, and then you born. When I first laid my eyes on you, it was an instant connection and I knew that nothing could ever break it.
As you grew older, your Daddy and I began to notice that what was right for you was not quite right overall. We soon learned that there was something...a monster, perhaps, that was slowly stealing our little girl. This monster took your ability to speak where a child your age should speak. This monster left your arms and legs unstable. This monster rearranged your chromosomes. This monster stops your brain from growing and takes away a signal in your brain necessary to your body. This monster is a coward, showing only its shadow, refusing to reveal its true self.
I know it is not your fault, but the fault of the coward invading your body, but there are things I have seen you do that hurt me so much. I wish I were able to take your frustrations and fight this battle for you. When you hurt or are angry, I see you hurt yourself. I watch as you hit yourself in the head, or bite yourself and it makes me sad that I do not know how to help you. It frustrates me just as much when your Daddy and I cannot understand your desperate attempts to talk to us. It makes me upset when those around you choose to judge rather than learn about the amazing little girl you are, despite your challenges.
I hope you know that I, your Mommy, and your Daddy, and your brother and sister too, love you so much and will never stop fighting for you. You fight this battle every day and your bravery and integrity for such a little girl amazes me. When there is something you need, we will NEVER stop fighting to get you what you need. We will ALWAYS be there with open arms to love you and protect you from whatever we can. We can't protect you from it all, but we sure as hell will try.
I don't know if you'll ever come across this letter, but I want to say this one thing:
Zoe, you are my hero. I have never known such a little girl with so much spunk and attitude in her, who is brave in every single way. I know that as I write this, you are oblivious to your fight, but Zoe, you amaze me every day. Thank you for not only being my hero, but my daughter as well. You have taught me not to fear the unseen or the unknown, but to don the armour and fight the good fight.
I love you Zoe. Don't ever forget that!
Love Mommy (and Daddy, Isaiah and Anberlin)